Sunday, February 22, 2009

Getting Better.

Sunday 22nd February 2009.Bridgwater.

Another day yesterday doing nearly nothing but rest and sleep .. I do hope it’s all part of the change going on with the Holosync. I expect I have been overdoing it .. listening too often .. it is rather powerful .. but it is also kind of pleasant, or at least interesting, to have my “mind chatter” reduced.
It may or may not be to do with that, that I downloaded a thing on the planets .. “Celestia” which has enabled me to get some sort of understanding not only of the relation of the planets to one another vis a vis what I read about in astrology but also (for the first time) a clear idea and a self-invented mnemonic to help me remember, the order of them outwards from the sun. (“My Very Early Memories Just Sum Up Nothing Particular ... M,V,E,M,J,S,U,N,P, .... Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn,Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.) OKayee ...
It’s nothing .. but to me it’s something because I have always been going much too fast inside my head to ever be able to take in any “useful” information .. practical stuff .. like what day of the week it is.. or the date .. have generally passed me by .. any kind of timetable wether bus train underground .. maps generally etc etc etc have always been pretty difficult and confusing for me .. airplanes and tickets .. geography etc etc .. history .. en fin .. general knowledge .. practical everyday stuff.
High flying or high blown metaphysical stuff was always high on the agenda of interest/s .. and all kinds of mystical insights and experiences .. but nothing that helped me function in the world .. (only to be “not of it”)
Anyway .. another thing that just came home to me from a comment by a scientist on a program on the telly was E=MC squared (don’t know how to do that little two in the air thing on keyboard) .. the point is .. the realisation of just how enourmous the amount of energy is that is stored in the tiniest particle of matter, the relation of the amount of energy to the size .. and that that is what got released with the atom bomb and the immediate reminder of the saying in the Koran not to seperate what God has put together .. which may or may not refer to man and woman and divorce on one level but, like all things in spiritual texts and especially the Koran, it is open to many many levels of meaning.
Somehow one knows that it was a tremendous discovery but, at the same time, obviously , a terrible one because of its application to weaponry and war .. and that of course it may well be the very thing that causes the ultimate destruction of the human race as we know it.

Anyway, what I see from this is the amazingness of the physical world on a macro and on a micro level and, without going into discussions of Darwinian theory .. (which I tend to take with a large pinch of salt) ... the very satisfying feeling that this can’t have been an “accident” ...
That amount of energy to hold together the basic building blocks of the universe ? ! That elegant and constant, perfectly balanced and integrated interplay of gravitational forces in our planetary system, spinning away there for millenia just in our little bit of the universe ? !
And all of that is an “accident” ? ...
1) Yes I think it helps me to believe more in God (and God as Creator of course) which therefore gives meaning to life ...
2) I’m pretty sure I could give some attention to those facts because the Holosync has slowed down my off-the-wall psychological profile enough to have given me the mental and emotional space to concentrate on something outside myself and has lessened the enormous anxiety generated by the feelings of vulnerability and hopelessness and inferiority which then give rise to further panic about what to do to “save” myself and how to get out of the mess etc etc etc instead of just being where I am and appreciating how lucky I am and what a fortunate position I am in etc etc and then having time to look out at the world and the universe and say ... “Wow! .. What an amazing and far out place this is!” And, as a corrollary, “Could this ever really have happened by accident and doesn’t it look much more like a created thing by some force and intelligence so superior to our own that it could make you just fall down on your knees and worship .. ?” (remembering also the Koranic saying “I did not create men and djinn for anything but to worship Me.” seems to make perfect sense instead of just being some awful overwhelming injunction to a burdensome duty.)

.... And really the point of all this is ...
1) That logically faith should help with depression and mental health but, if the depressive and hopeless mind patterns have kicked in since an early age .. it is often nearly impossible to “re-program” them just through faith and/or logical argument .. so therefore an outside agent or aid is needed.
However .. if .. like me .. the idea and the reality of drugs to simply dull the pain and take away the anxiety that way .. is pure anathema .. (and it is obvious that they dull the spiritual sense too) then something else, more subtle .. more intelligent .. more penetrating but less invasive is needed and .. I think that very thing is to be found in the use of binaural beats as demonstrated by the use of Holosync .. (do I make myself clear?)
My point is that;
1) I believe that Holosync is helping me with my psychological and emotional problems and;
2) That the help with and release from debilitating psychological and emotional patterns is allowing me to have a greater sense of meaning in life and faith in God, and not, as I have believed and tried to make work for years, that belief in God and faith would bring me relief from my psychological and emotional problems ... Sad but true.

Obviously I expect in general there would be a cross-over and cross fertilisation between the two .. but I have been in a spiritual group where all mention of depression and psychological difficulties has been frowned upon and those people precisely consider themselves to be the absolute top and cream of spirituality .. Well I think they better open their heads to some ideas and help from other places! Even the Prophet (peace be upon him) said “Look for knowledge as far as China.”


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