Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Last Wednesday of Safar. Prayers and "Tapping."

Bismi'llah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim...for the sake of Prophet Muhammad saws and Sheikh Nazim may Allah protect his secret.

Today is,well,the last Wednesday of Safar. I am struggling with negativity again.I think I may make a separate place for all that on my EFT blog (which I'm just beginning) ... or maybe another one which is just a personal diary. I still have this need to communicate my fears and sufferings when I feel bad.I suppose it is possible I could get some support and help through the net .. I have found a few other EFT-ers groups.
Yesterday night I had difficulty with Sufism,Sufis and Sufi Orders' URL. I'm not sure why .. (at the moment it is obvious that when I go to the link ,"http" is in there twice, as I copied and pasted it to some already existing HTML from the help page.) .. it seems that somewhere in the process,while dealing with our rather frightened pussy cat, which didn't want to be put outside to eat because the neighbour's cat comes and attacks and wants to get his food, I lost all the html for the links. Strangely they still seem to be working. So I have to sort that one out this morning.
It is something to do .. I must admit I'd rather be translating (which reminds me I could look for translators groups or forums for advice and help about good agencies.) The blog and the internet are big escapes for me from the rigours of days, weeks and even months, when we don't work in the markets.Now that I don't hardly ever go to the local Naqshbandi group (something which I find it very hard to resolve) .. we really have very little social activity or contact. This house is rented and it seems we will have to get out within a couple of years and,while I have never been a great builder,decorator or gardener,it is rather dispiriting doing stuff on a place which is not ones own.
Before, I used to do loads of music with a little studio I devised but, in the last perhaps,couple of years, I have almost completely packed that up too.Logically it is a haven for a sufi dervish who just wants to worship and be with his Lord all the time .. and that has put a mirror up to the reality of my faith.
I do believe in God ..though still,although Allah is God, the word 'Allah' has overtones which 'God' does not.(I am trying to be honest here,even if it may be shocking to anyone reading this,especially anyone of Muslim origin.) I think,in fact I know,that there are special problems for new western Muslims and I have been very fortunate that Sheikh Nazim is a Sheikh who is especially suitable,appropriate and trained/sent for us. Perhaps Sheikh Adnan will be even more suitable,if the world survives long enough to see him as Sheikh of the tariqat.(Sheikh Nazim has always believed what his sheikh, Sheikh Abdullah told him,that he would live to see Mahdi.He is the fortieth sheikh in the line and always we have been told that he is the last one.)Obviously then,after Sheikh Nazim's time would mean after Mahdi's time means after Jesus has come back,after the dajaal has appeared and been defeated.It means when we go into the new spiritual age which everyone,even outside Islam and tariqat is aware of/talking about/communicating about ... (see for instance the Global Oneness site ..I shall probably put a link for that too.) ... so that means a time when spiritual power is operating on earth,and when,SheikhNazim says,ordinary people will be like sheikhs and sheikhs will become 'love fountains'.Therefore Sheikh Adnan would be one of those. One can feel something of that around him already,I was with him in Damascus when we went to Haj,and also made Umra with him immediately after the haj.In Damascus I just fell in love with him,which seems to be a common experience.I noticed however,as later in Cyprus,that the attraction which causes one to try to stay in his company is,perhaps, greater than the capacity one has (or I have anyway!) to endure the spiritual power which is with him.Afer a while there is the sensation that one has been sitting with one's fingers in the 13 amp socket for a little too long! and has to admit that,being a little burned out,it is time to distance oneself.I could go into some mental contortions here,but,better to leave that for another time when I know more what I am talking about.
I'm going to post now as I have some things to do and am not to sure of leaving this just sitting on the computer.Anything can happen in this place,including unannounced power cuts which,it seems, could be responsible for a little damage to my hard disk already,and, after last night's shambles, and on a day like today,I'm not going to risk it.
Had a little look at the the blog just before going.Yesterday,when I put all that stuff on from "Sufistic" all my links and profile had moved right down to beside the last post and also the text was jammed up against the left-hand margin.Today there are no links or anything!
The html in the template looks a mess and maybe it would just be best to change the whole template.They always say,when one is setting up a blog,that it is easy to change it later.I hope that is true! I have enured myself to the idea that I might lose everything,but I don't think I can sort out that mess myself.I could just try one more go to copy and paste the links bit in again .. I don't have too much faith in that though as I already tried that last night.
Meanwhile time is slipping by and I wanted to do loads more stuff both in the way of writing and links and maybe another blog and improve..or really,start, the EFT one.Oh well.Here goes!
.. 10.04.Hrs. Could do entries with times as I always used to in my diaries and MS Word diaries(often wonder wether I should have thrown them all away and wiped them off the disk,as is so often the case with that sort of thing,no-one wants to read them unless the person has become famous..however we all do it,especially bloggers,and if I ever got better,I mean really better,then there would have been interest at some psychological/therapeutical level,to see the development of a screwed up bugger like me,from the dark and tangled forest of emotions and mental contortions,to the daylight of a 'normal'person.)by editing the same post as I am doing now.
Instead of changing the template I have simply re-ordered the same one and worked!(At some point,if I have the time to get there and write today..and you,gentle reader, get the time or have the inclination to read it,I will be putting something on my EFT site about what went on this morning with some NLP which is part of EFT. and its possible results,but I'm keeping that for that place..and may well keep some of this for another place as I already indicated above .. pant,pant.)
Now.. the thing is,(1): I have to put the links back on the blog (as one loses all customisation when changing the template,though not the posts and photos,thank God!) and,(2): I want to see why the links are all at the bottom. I believe I have seen that on some other blogs,and,it could be due to a cock up on the blog,but,I think it is more to do with copying and pasting to the blog,and so I am probably going to experiment with deleting that long bit I put on from "Sufistic" it seemed to be after that that the problems started.(O.K.? !)
11.10.Hrs. (1): Links are back on and working. (2): Deleted long bit and blog looks the same as before ..great! ... now ..just need to edit the piece on philosophy or action and I'll be ready to do something on the EFT site.

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