From my diary.

Bismi'llah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim...for the sake of Prophet Muhammad saws and Sheikh Nazim may Allah protect his secret.

05.40.a.m. Orgiva.

What is there left to say really? I do not exist … I will never know the whole Truth..certainly not through my mind..that’s not the way to see it … only You exist..(we’re in private now .. only You and your angels watching and listening ..only the spiritual world knowing what is happening/going on.)
Looks as though internet,and most of what I can find out about what is happening with Bush and his cronies is not reliable or definitive …
Looks as though I’m too tired to keep on trying to ‘be’ anybody ..or anything through even talking or thinking …
I’m hurting and I don’t understand..
All that matters is that my faith in You becomes real and strong …
I want and need to follow one path ..
I want and need to believe in one God ..
I must try to stick with Islam no matter how hard,and not muddle Brahman and an Impersonal Absolute into this..except to say that,that also may be part of belief in You..but at the level of essence perhaps..which is not something we can talk about..only know of..or believe in or..”live”! insha’llah.
What’s left?..Worship..and that’s the hard part .. that’s where I have to let go of wants and ego and being anybody or anything ... and that is the real work.