Sunday, January 15, 2006


Bismi'llah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim...for the sake of Prophet Muhammad saws and Sheikh Nazim may Allah protect his secret.

At the end of the day,my big lesson in all this is that I must try not to rely on anything but Allah through His Prophet's example saws and through the spiritual connection to our Sheikh and from our Sheikh to him saws.

What can I say ? Bilquis was everything to me, and now she has gone there is a huge hole which somehow I must fill.I hope I shall fill it with consciousness of and reliance on Allah and not just my re-invented ego in Bilquis's image.

I so often used to say "Ay Dios!Bilquis." and she used to say, "Yo no soy Dios Uthman." ("I am not God Uthman.")...but in a way, she was to me .. and perhaps that is one reason why He took her away from me.
So often the things which seem like the most painful and difficult in life, are in fact blessings in disguise.I reminds me of when the Prophet (PBUH) was going along the lines of prisoners chained up after a battle and he started laughing. They thought he was being cruel, but in fact he was laughing from happiness to see how Allah had actually used the situation to bring them from jahillya (ignorance) to the Truth and belief in God.
I now have to face a lot of pain and loneliness,maybe fear and insecurity, with scant resources and no family and no intimate close friends .... but who will there be to turn to except the Sheikh and Allah and His Prophet saws ?
So often our conscience knows what we should do .. but we get used to turning a deaf ear and wasting time playing at pass-times and nonsense while the hour glass of our lives is fast running out.
I remember reading in Fath al Rabbani (Openings from the Lord), a collection of sohbets from Abdl Qadr al Gilani, how he said to his audience, "You say la ilaha ila 'llah,(there is no God but Allah) but you are liars! You make everything but Allah your God."

May Allah help me and guide me to real faith in and reliance on Him alone, through the example of His beloved Prophet Habib'allah and the spiritual connection with our Sheikh, Sheikh Nazim Adil al Qubrusi al Haqqani an'Naqshbandi. Amin. Fatiha.


Anonymous hassan omar said...

Salam aleikum dear brother ! May Allah help you to have sabr in this terribile moment's of your life.This dunya is an abode of suffering, many times , so we must keep patient.I fell realy pain for you and your situation. Let's pray Allah for the soul of your wife and may Allah give her the joy of the live in paradise , inshallah.your brother in Islam Hassan omar al kroati ,Italy.

Monday, January 16, 2006 12:37:00 AM  
Blogger Yafiah Katherine said...

Salaam brother. I offer my condolences for your loss. I am sure you know that this is only a loss in the physical sense and that Bilquis is very much with you in spirit. Allah is compassionate and as long as you continue in your intentions to surrender as well as you are able then gradually you will begin to feel His blessings.

Monday, January 16, 2006 4:13:00 AM  

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